What's Left of Me
by Avenger Uchiha
Summary: A friendly dinner turns into something more, leaving Yuki and tohma's friendship in a state of disarray, as well as Yuki's relationship with Shuichi. Can Tohma correct the mistakes he's made, or will things that a drastic turn for the worst?
1. Dinner for Two

Welcome readers.

I hope you enjoy this short little Gravi fic that I have come up with. It will only be about 5 chapters long. Please read and review as you go! I'd appreciate the input

This is a Yuki/Tohma story, but the ending is not what you would expect. We all know the unlikelihood of their relationship, and if you know my stories..I am all about the angst aspect XD

So please, stick with the story even if you aren't a fan of the pairing. I'm sure you'll be satisfied by the end. There is only one lemon scene, and it is in this first chapter. After that it is nothing but plot. So hang in there!

Shall we begin?

Chapter 1

Tohma looked down at the meal before him with a smile that lit up his entire face. It was truly an honor to have a chance to eat some Eiri's cooking. Tohma had been quite surprised when the writer had called him up randomly and said that he wanted to cook dinner for him. Usually it was the other way around, so it was a very pleasant surprise indeed.

"Thank you so much for making such a wonderful looking meal, Eiri-san." Tohma beamed at his friend.

"You don't have to thank me. This was my way of thanking you, after all." Eiri put down his cigarette, shoving the end of it into the ashtray and extinguishing the small flame.

Eiri had been having a difficult month and Tohma knew it. He had been holed up in his office, typing diligently away. His editor was looking for another chapter to the new book and Eiri was being forced to comply. Not only that but Shuichi was away on tour promoting Bad Luck's new album and so the singer had barely been around for the last four weeks. As if that wasn't enough, Mika had badgered her brother into visiting their father for a few days and that was always enough to drive Eiri insane.

Tohma knew all of this and had been trying his best to take care of his younger friend. He cooked him meals and gave him reason to break away from the book and rest his eyes, even if it was only for an hour or so. Eiri had started to look tired after the first week and Tohma had known then that the writer wasn't taking care of himself. Tohma took it upon himself to become the mother hen and pamper Eiri, at least until Shuichi returned from his tour.

"So eat already. If you just stare at it then it will get cold," Eiri said as he picked up his glass of whiskey. He had poured drinks for both of them, and although Tohma rarely indulged in such a strong beverage, he felt entitled to enjoy it since it was Eiri who had poured it for him.

Tohma picked up his chopsticks and stuck them down into the chicken and rice meal that Eiri had prepared. It looked and smelled good, but Tohma had never had Eiri's cooking so he was prepared for anything as he lifted the first bite to his lips. As soon as it was in his mouth he was surprised by the wonderful sensation that came to it. "It's delicious, Eiri-san!"

This brought a slight smile to the lips of the writer as he watched his dinner guest. He put the glass of whiskey down and picked up his own utensils. "Don't sound so surprised. I have been living alone for quite some time you know."

Tohma knew this, but because he had always been the one to worry about whether Eiri was eating well, it had never crossed his mind that the writer might actually know how to prepare his own meals. "I'm sorry Eiri-san. I shouldn't have been so surprised." For years Tohma had felt like he had to protect and care for the younger man. Ever since that incident, Tohma had felt he needed to. That it was the only way that either of them would forgive and forget. Tohma blamed himself for what happened and would rather die then let something harm his friend ever again. That made him overprotective at times and also made him a very dangerous individual when Eiri was concerned, but Tohma didn't care what others thought of him. His only concern was for this man that he cared for so deeply. Eiri was his best friend and he had always considered him that. Tohma had done everything he could to stay close, even when Eiri had tried to push him away. With Shuichi in the picture however, Eiri's personality had started to change. He was more accepting of Tohma's attempts at friendship and he seemed to enjoy his company just a little more then he had used to.

"Don't apologize, Seguchi. Just eat." Eiri stuffed some of the food into his own mouth, quickly chasing it down with another swig of his alcohol.

Tohma watched this with a bit of a frown. He also worried that Eiri drank too much for his own good. He had been drinking beer when Tohma arrived earlier that evening and now to be drinking such a hard drink…Tohma tried not to think about his friend getting sick. He didn't want to say anything negative and spoil the wonderful evening that he had been having with his friend.

The meal progressed with barely any talking. Tohma was too busy filling his face with the delicious taste of Eiri's cooking to say much of anything. Much to his surprise he was drinking quite a bit as well. Every time his glass was empty, Eiri would immediately fill it up again. Tohma was not a hard drinker by any means, but having so many in a row so quickly was definitely starting to affect him. His head was starting to swim and he felt quite happy and warm throughout his body. He couldn't remember the last time he had gotten drunk but he was getting closer to experiencing it again with each sip he took.

Eiri had had about twice as much alcohol as Tohma and was also starting to feel the affects, but not nearly as badly as the blond keyboardist was. Tohma was even staggering as he made his way to the couch after their meal was done. Eiri followed much slower, his own steps a little uncertain, but bringing the bottle of alcohol with him as well as their glasses.

Tohma plopped down on the large sofa and laid his head back against the cushion. "What a pleasant evening…what should we do now, Eiri-san?"

"Do?" Eiri sat down about a foot away from Tohma, placing the glasses on the table and filling them back up. "We're drinking, isn't that enough?"

Tohma lifted his head up very slowly. His mind filled with thoughts that perhaps Eiri had had another bad day and was trying to drink away his sorrows. Hoping that wasn't the case he tried to push the bad thought from his mind. As he lifted his head, it felt very heavy and he wondered if he had the strength to keep it above his shoulders. "Well…don't you do things when you drink? What about those games that people play? Don't people play games?"

"Games? You can't possibly mean those stupid party games that kids play…I'm not playing those." Eiri turned up his nose a little and brought his glass to his lips once more.

Tohma reached over and tugged on his friend's sleeve. "Then what do you do when you drink?"

"That's all I do. Just drink."

Tohma pouted a bit at that answer. He had hoped for something a little more exciting then that. He was not a social drinker by any means but the more he drank the more he thought there was something else that was supposed to go with it. His body was heavy but strangely he was feeling full of energy now as the alcohol cursed through his body. "That's no fun Eiri…"

"Guess I'm just a boring guy." Eiri looked over at the young face of his friend. Tohma's cheeks were red and his eyes were shiny. "I think you've had enough." Eiri also knew that he should have stopped several drinks ago as well. The alcohol was making him tired and he knew if he just fell asleep now he would have a headache in the morning. He hated to see Tohma have the same fate though. Eiri reached down to grab the glass but to his surprise Tohma made a lunge for it.

"Not done!" Tohma rushed at the glass with so much force that it knocked them both off the couch, sending them crashing to the ground. Eiri grabbed for Tohma, hoping to break his fall a little, but instead they ended up in a pile between the couch and table. "ow ow ow.." Whined Tohma as he reached up to rub his head.

Eiri groaned and pushed himself up a little, opening his eyes to stare down at the face of his older friend. He had landed on top of the blond and was afraid he might have injured him in some way. His hands were palm down on either side of Tohma's head, "Are you okay?"

Tohma started to shake his head and then opened his eyes to stare up into the golden orbs of his friend right above him. He had wondered why his body felt so heavy and now he knew why. "Mm…head hurts a little...You okay?" Tohma tried to control his breathing and his body from reacting to the position they were in. He knew he was blushing but he hoped that Eiri only thought it was from the alcohol. He was touched by the worried expression in his friend's eyes and it softened the writer's entire face making him even more handsome.

Eiri continued to stare down into Tohma's eyes. There was something in them that he couldn't place. A look he hadn't seen in awhile and whatever it was it was making him think things he had hoped not to think about his friend. Unfortunately for him, his self restraint was starting to lose out to the alcohol. Without realizing what he was doing, Eiri leaned down. He placed a kiss on Tohma's forehead as if that would remedy the pain. "better?" Eiri's voice was a little husky as he asked. He was sure it was the alcohol talking or maybe it was the lack of intimacy since Shuichi was away, but being on top of Tohma at that moment was making his body tremble with desire.

"yes…" The reply was weak. It was hard to get that reply out. Eiri wasn't moving farther away and Tohma could still feel his breath on his forehead. Not fully aware of his actions, Tohma reached up and wrapped his arms around his friend's waist. His heart wanted to escape from his chest but he didn't care. Right now he wanted nothing more then to keep the feel of Eiri close to him.

Responding to the contact Eiri moved his lips down Tohma's face. He didn't stop until they rested against the other set of lips. Then he pressed them against Tohma's with a hunger that surprised even him. Tohma's body shivered and his arms tightened their hold as he kissed the younger man back. How many years had he longed for this? The little voice in his head known as his conscience screamed at him to stop, but Tohma didn't listen.

Eiri pressed his tongue into Tohma's mouth, letting it explore the depths of this new territory. Tohma's own tongue responded willingly. Before long though Eiri pulled away, moving his lips across Tohma's cheek and then down to his neck, sucking and biting into the tender flesh. Tohma turned his face, giving Eiri as much of his neck as he could. He gasped in pleasure as the writer nibbled his way down, until he reached the edge of Tohma's shirt.

Growing at the nuisance, Eiri slid his hands down Tohma's body and then up the shirt, expertly removing the troublesome clothing with hardly any change in position. Eiri continued his exploration of the older man's body, moving a string of kissing along his collarbone. All the while Tohma was feverishly working at the buttons on Eiri's shirt, with much less skill then Eiri had shown, especially since he was unable to even see the shirt he was attempting to remove.

Eiri finally helped Tohma in freeing himself of the blue shirt and then he proceeded with his tour of Tohma's body. His hands were now working on the pants as his tongue traveled down the center of Tohma's chest. Tohma squirmed a little as his pants became tighter and tighter, longing for Eiri to finish removing them so that he might have a little relief. Instead Eiri seemed to like toying with the fact that Tohma was growing increasingly uncomfortable. He reached his hand down inside the waist of the pants, caressing the tender part of Tohma's body. It throbbed against the hand touching it and Tohma whimpered, reaching down to remove the article of clothing himself. Eiri grabbed the hands, pulling his free of the pants and pinning Tohma's down. He rubbed his body against Tohma's as he moved upward again so that his face was once again at Tohma's neck.

"What's wrong Seguchi?" Eiri's voice said seductively, a hint of playfulness mixed in.

"Please…Eiri…" Tohma's voice was strained and raspy from the throbbing between his legs.

"Please..what?" Eiri nipped at the soft neck before him.

"Please take me …" Tohma was pleading. He wasn't sure how much of this playing he could handle.

Eiri seemed to be more then happy to oblige as he released Tohma's hands and removed the pants and underwear that he been so restricting. Tohma pressed the back of his head into the carpet, preparing for whatever Eiri might do to him next.

Eiri didn't waste any time. He pressed his lips against the older man's erection, letting his tongue lick up everything that was escaping. Then he opened his mouth and took Tohma inside of him completely. When Eiri heard the moan from his friend he knew that was just what he had been waiting for. Eiri started to move along it, sucking gently. Occasionally he would bite it ever so slightly. He just wanted to hear Tohma's moan.

Tohma gripped the carpet with his fingers. Sweat broke out all over his body as he started to move with the rhythm of Eiri's movements. Eiri started to go faster and faster and Tohma knew he was rapidly approaching his breaking point. His breathing quickened and he felt like he was going to explode as the younger man's lips and tongue continued to have their way with him. Finally he knew he could hold back no longer. "Eiri!" He gasped.

Eiri knew what that meant and took the older man in his mouth completely again. Tohma came almost as soon as he was fully inside. He arched his back as he released into the warm mouth of his friend.

Once he was sure he had every ounce of the liquid inside him, Eiri pulled away, but he wasn't done. It was time for him to be freed from his own discomfort. He had unbuttoned his own pants for a little relief but he was going to need to remove them completely now. Eiri slid up Tohma's body again. "My turn."

"No…" Tohma murmured almost breathlessly.

"That's not fair.." Eiri growled. Whether Tohma liked it or not, he was going to have to ease this tension.

"Not here…" Tohma finally managed to say. He knew he had rug burns on his back already. He wanted to go someplace better so that he could truly enjoy the feeling of Eiri inside of him.

Eiri growled at the fact that this would take much more time, but he stood up. He picked Tohma up as well, as he was still recovering from his own release. He threw the naked older man over his shoulder and headed down the hallway. Upon reached his bedroom he slammed the door shut and laid Tohma down on the bed. Tohma was immediately thankful for the soft sheets that now were against his back.

Eiri removed his pants as quickly as he could and then grabbed the lube from the drawer by the bed and prepared himself before crawling onto the bed and Tohma. As soon as Tohma felt Eiri's erection against his skin, he started to get hard again as well. Eiri leaned down and kissed Tohma roughly on the mouth. His hands set to work on Tohma again, wanting him to be nice and hard before he began to enter the other man.

Once Eiri felt Tohma was ready, he ended the kiss and sat up just enough that he could roll Tohma over onto his stomach. Tohma obediently got into a kneeling position on the bed. Eiri reached around and latched onto Tohma's erection again as he pressed his own against him. At the feeling of this Tohma put his head back, so many sensations were running through his body all at once that he almost couldn't handle it.

Eiri entered the other man slowly at first, relishing in the feel of the tightness around him. Once he was inside of him completely he was very still for a second and then started to move in and out. He was very slow at first as if he were investigating this new place. Then slowly his pace quickened, stroking Tohma at the same pace. Tohma arched his back and latched onto the sheets below him.

They both knew when they were near. Eiri came almost all the way out of Tohma before thrusting himself all the way inside the blond keyboardist, gripping Tohma tightly as he pressed his body as close to the other man's as he could. Together they moaned as they simultaneously released. Eiri flowed into Tohma's body, making Tohma's entire body quiver with pleasure as the keyboardist released over Eiri's hand and the sheets below him.

When it was done Tohma collapsed against the sheets, Eiri still inside him. Eiri leaned down and kissed Tohma's shoulder tenderly and started to remove himself. The writer was exhausted. It had seemed like forever since he had slept with anyone and he had started to grow antsy.

"No…please…I want to feel you inside me just a little longer," Tohma whispered, his eyes closed as he took in the smells and the feelings and everything that went along with what just happened.

Eiri obliged for a few seconds and then pulled out, collapsing onto the bed next to Tohma. Tohma summoned enough strength to slide closer and snuggle against the writer, breathing in his scent. Neither felt any regrets in what they had done, but their minds were now clouded not just with alcohol, but the emotions and experience they had just had. Evidence of the night was left both there and in the living area, but neither had the desire or strength to clean up themselves or the area around them.

It wasn't long before they were both asleep, curled up on top of the covers of Eiri's bed. They slept deeply and didn't stir until the sun rose high the next day.


	2. Guilty Hearts

Chapter 2

The visitor entered silently, unaware that anyone was even home. He removed his shoes before walking down the hallway, looking for any sign of life in the dark apartment. It was late morning and he had expected the apartment's owner to be home. He turned the corner and walked towards the bedroom. The door was shut, which was a good sign that the owner was actually here. Without knocking, he pushed the door open gently and peered inside. When he saw the lump in the bed he smiled slightly, pushing the door open a little more.

As he stepped inside the room, the light from the window cast a bright beam across the bed and it was within that beam he noticed the second lump. The man froze, his jaw dropping slightly in shock at the sight before him.

The two men lay entwined, the sheets barely covering them. A smaller blond male had his arm wrapped around the writer's chest and his head was tucked beneath his lover's chin. He was lying on his stomach while the writer was on his back. They both seemed to be sleeping quite soundly.

The visitor now felt like an intruder, but it was a feeling he never should have had upon his arrival home after being gone for a month. He could barely contain the anger and his small body trembled from the feelings rushing through him. Never had he expected to come home to find his lover in bed with Seguchi Tohma.

"Yuki! You jerk!" Shuuichi screamed at the top of his lungs.

Eiri jerked awake at that sound. He blinked several times trying to focus on the room around him. He tried to move but found he couldn't because of a weight against his chest. He turned his head just in time to see the pink haired singer flee from the room.

"Shit…" Eiri murmured as he struggled to get out from beneath the blond keyboardist. This sudden movement forced Tohma from his dreams and he sat up groggily as Eiri moved out from beneath the covers. He yawned as he watched Eiri grab his pants, pulling them on quickly as he ran from the bedroom.

The next two sounds were enough to snap Tohma into reality. "Shuuichi!" This was followed by a slammed door. Tohma's eyes widened as he looked around at his surroundings. What had he done? He quickly got out of the bed and grabbed the nearest piece of clothing he could. His own clothes were no where to be found and so the quickest thing he could wrap around himself was a navy blue robe that had to belong to Eiri because of its length.

Tohma timidly peaked out of the bedroom, afraid of what he might see. He was almost hoping for an empty hallway, but his hopes were quickly dashed. Eiri was slumped back against the wall, his hand to his face, a shocked expression clearly written across the handsome features.

"Eiri-san…"

"Not a word, Seguchi…Just…don't speak." Eiri closed his eyes, his head hurt and it wasn't because of the hangover. "What have I done?" He had possibly made the biggest mistake of his life. He hadn't expected the events of the night before to ever take place, and he hadn't expected Shuuichi to return home so soon.

Tohma looked down at the ground miserably. "This isn't your fault Eiri-san…I should have stopped you…"

"No…you can't take the blame for this. It should never have happened, and yet I made it happen."

Tohma shook his head violently as he approached his friend. "You can't blame yourself either! I was fully aware of what was going on…and I didn't stop it. In my head I knew what we were doing was wrong…but…but…" 'But I wanted it so badly that I didn't listen to the alarms going off. I wanted _you_ more then words can say. I have for years.' But he couldn't say that. Tohma wished he could say those words but he knew they would only upset Eiri more.

"I knew too…why didn't I stop?" Eiri's voice choked with the emotion that he had fought to hide for years.

Tohma reached out to touch Eiri's arm, but the writer violently pulled away. Tohma's heart sank as he realized that the events of the night before might have just undid everything that Tohma had worked so hard for. All his years of protecting and caring for the younger man were now washed away. Eiri was hurting and it was all Tohma's fault. He started to back away, wanting to retreat into a quiet place so that he might wallow in the grief that was filling him. "I'm so sorry…I never meant to hurt you…" Tohma whimpered.

Eiri opened his eyes and looked over at his friend, the hand dropping from his face. The look in Tohma's eyes was one that Eiri hadn't seen in years. It was the same look he wore when the event of years passed had occurred. He blamed himself again. "Tohma…wait…" Eiri pushed away from the wall and took a step closer but Tohma fled just as he did so.

Running to the bedroom, Tohma made a beeline for the connecting bathroom. He slammed the door shut and locked it behind him. He wanted to keep the world from seeing him break down. The last thing he wanted was for Eiri to see this weakness. He leaned his back against the door and closed his eyes, praying that Eiri would go in search of Shuuichi and leave him in peace. But he wasn't that lucky.

"Tohma! Come out of there!" Eiri banged on the door and pulled on the knob, hoping that it would open.

"No…I've hurt you. I've done the one thing that could hurt you more then anything else. The one you love…he saw us. And it's my fault…All of it…" His voice shook and the tears came quickly as Tohma sank to the floor. He crawled away from the door and laid his head down on the toilet seat cover. He buried his face in his arms and let the tears fall freely.

"Stop blaming yourself! Damnit Tohma! Don't be so stubborn!" Eiri leaned his forehead against the door. Why was all this happening to him? Why was he so unlucky?

Even the sound of Eiri calling him by his first name didn't ease Tohma's heart. The truth was that he had wanted to sleep with Eiri and even now he didn't regret what had happened and for that he felt terrible. He was truly selfish and he hated himself. "Go after him Eiri-san…just leave me."

"Tohma…" Eiri closed his eyes, his head still against the cool wood of the door. He wasn't sure why he was still standing there. He knew he should go after his pink haired lover before he did something stupid, but he couldn't stand the thought of abandoning Tohma.

"GO!" Tohma shouted angrily. He lifted his head up and stared miserably at the light above him. "Please…please just go…" This came out more as a whimper and he wasn't sure it was even heard. His heart remembered the feeling of Eiri's embrace and the kisses that he had left across his body. He wanted to feel all that again, but he knew that it wasn't to be. Eiri loved someone else and if he didn't go after him…then that person may never forgive him. That was the last thing Tohma wanted because if Shuuichi didn't take Eiri back…then the writer might resent Tohma for the rest of his life. That was the last thing he wanted.

"Don't do anything stupid…okay?" Tohma didn't answer but the hint of concern in his friend's voice touched him. He knew that Eiri cared for him, but he also know that it would never turn into the love that Tohma had always desired. There was no other sound after that and Tohma knew that Eiri had probably gotten dressed and gone after his young lover.

Tohma curled up into a ball on the floor and just stayed there for several minutes, feeling the cool tile against his warm body. He knew he had to leave. He didn't want to be there when Eiri returned. He stood up and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He was a disgrace. His hair was tousled from the events of the night before and his face was red and puffy from the crying. He wasn't sure he had ever looked as bad as he did at that moment.

Leaving the bathroom, Tohma headed out to retrieve his clothing. It was still strewn across the floor by the couch and he made sure to find each piece before walking back to the bedroom. He wanted to leave no evidence at all of their night. He got cleaned up a little and then started to clean the bedroom and the dishes from their dinner and the glasses from their drinking. When he was done the apartment looked like it had before Tohma had arrived the day before.

Placing his hat on his head, he left the apartment, making sure to lock it with the spare key he always had in case Eiri needed it. As he walked out the front door he stopped in his tracks as he saw his wife walking up.

"Good morning Mika-san…" Tohma said hesitantly. He was sure he still didn't look all that great and hoped that she wouldn't comment on it.

"More like afternoon, Tohma. What the hell happened?" Mika put her hands on her hips and glared at her husband.

"I told you. I was coming over here to spend some time with Eiri-san." Tohma started to walk past her. "Your brother is not here right now. He and Shindou-san went out." Before Tohma could get passed Mika grabbed onto his wrist, pulling him to a stop.

"I came looking for you! I hadn't expected you to be out all night."

Tohma kept his eyes turned away from her. He was sure that if she looked at him she would know exactly what had happened. "I'm sorry. I should have called. I had a few drinks and before I knew it I was asleep. Please forgive me Mika-san."

Mika narrowed her eyes, trying to study the face that was still turned away. She released her grip on his wrist and crossed her arms over her chest. It wasn't like Tohma to lie to her, but it was hard to tell if he was lying or not. "Fine. But you better hurry and get to the office. Sakano has been calling non-stop looking for you. He's being rather annoying…more so then normal."

"Alright. I'm going to get changed and then I'll head over there. I'll call and apologize to Sakano-san on the way." Tohma walked the rest of the way to where his car was parked. He felt bad for lying to Mika but he had no choice. How do you put into words: 'I love your brother very much and last night we had passionate sex around his apartment. I have no regrets and I want nothing more then to do it again.' Tohma figured that probably wouldn't go over very well.

Tohma got into his car and drove off, without looking back at his wife. They may have married out of convenience, but it still felt wrong to lie to her. Especially since she knew about his feelings towards Eiri better then anyone. "I'm sorry, Mika-san. I'm very sorry."

Tohma watched the cars driving down the street as he stared out the large window of his office at NG Records. He had gone home and changed and then driven straight here and now the sun was setting low in the distance casting a warm glow across the active city below. Tohma wasn't sure how long he had been standing at the window; he had only been focused on the thoughts running through his mind.

His secretary had signaled that she was leaving for the day many hours before. She had seemed concerned when Tohma had mentioned that he wanted no visitors and no calls today. He had not felt like speaking to anyone, uncertain about what he might say or do in his current state of mind.

Immense guilt was consuming him, but also a desire like none he had ever felt before. Tohma knew he was a selfish man at heart, but never had he let that get the best of him. Not like he had last night. No matter what excuse he came up with, they all seemed weak in his heart. He had wanted to be with Eiri, no matter what happened. And he wanted it even more now. But he couldn't shake off the feelings of remorse for the pain that he had caused the two lovers. This confusing mix of emotions was almost more then Tohma could handle.

The telephone on his desk started to ring and he turned away from the window to glance at the caller ID. It was his wife, but she was the last person in the world he felt he could talk to right now. He had betrayed her just as he had betrayed his best friend's trust. He wasn't sure he would be able to face her again. The phone stopped ringing finally after ten attempts.

Tohma sat down in the lush leather chair behind his desk. He closed his eyes and was content to just stay there the rest of the night. He wondered if he would be able to ever go home again. Just as he was about to drift into a fitful sleep, the door to his office was harshly slammed open.

Opening his eyes, he met the angry face of Bad Luck's guitarist. "Good evening Nakano-san. Usually people knock before entering their employer's office." Tohma's voice was cold and he tried to give off an impression of anger at being disturbed. But his heart wasn't quite in it, especially since he knew he was about to be verbally abused by the red-haired man before him.

Hiro slammed his fist down onto Tohma's desk. "You asshole! Do you realize what you've done?"

"I assume you are referring to the events of this morning." Tohma wasn't going to beat around the bush. He didn't feel it would help his situation any.

"You're damn right that is what I am referring to! What the hell were you thinking? Can you even imagine what Shuuichi is going through right now?" Hiro was trembling in his anger. Tohma could see it even from across the desk.

Tohma stood up and walked back to the window, staring out it again. "I can assume that Shindou-san is quite upset at me, with good right. But I don't believe my affairs are truly any of your concern."

"None of my concern?! You fuck with me best friend, and you fuck with me!" Hiro stormed over to Tohma and reached out, grabbing onto the front of Tohma's suit roughly. He pulled the executive around so that he was staring him in the eyes.

"If you know what is good for your future Nakano-san, I suggest you unhand me." Tohma glared at the boy before him.

"You sonofabith!" Hiro released Tohma's shirt. He reached back and without thinking, struck his fist hard into Tohma's right cheek.

Tohma stumbled back against the window and leaned against the cool glass, holding his injured cheek with his hand. It stung painfully, but he was glad that the boy had not held back. Tohma knew that he deserved it, even if he wouldn't say it. "Get out."

Hiro stood there with a shocked expression clearly written on his face. He stared down at the hand that had just struck his boss. It was obvious that the action had been so unexpected that Hiro did not know what to do next.

"Get out," Tohma repeated, his eyes boring holes into the boy.

"Seguchi-san…I…Sorry…I didn't…I mean…" Hiro looked at his boss frantically. As angry as he was, he had never meant to harm the man who held the future of his band in his hands. Suddenly the full impact of what he had done crashed down on him and he wanted nothing more then to remove that action from the past.

"Get out." Tohma could say nothing more then that. Even that was growing harder as his cheek started to swell.

Finally Hiro got his wits back and his stare turned colder again. "I'm glad I did it. Even if you kick us out of NG…You deserved it and you know it. I'll never forgive you for hurting Shuichi." Hiro turned and ran from the room.

Tohma watched him leave and then walked to the door, shutting it softly behind him. "I'm sorry…" Tohma whispered as he turned away, walking over to his mini-bar to get some ice for his injury. 

Just as he was filling a bag with ice, a knock came at his door. He sighed and continued to fill the bag. He hoped that if he didn't answer the person would just leave. Unfortunately the next sound he heard was the door opening. He didn't turn around, he merely stated from where he was, "I had asked to not be disturbed." Tohma silently wished he had locked the door when he had closed it.

"When have I ever listened to what you say?" A deep and familiar voice said softly.

Tohma's eyes went wide and he spun around. "Eiri-san…" He was the last person Tohma had expected to see in his office.

Eiri shut the door behind him and stuffed his hands in his pant pockets as he walked towards Tohma. "Mika called in a panic. She said you weren't answering your phone." As the writer reached Tohma he stopped and his eyes widened slightly. "What the hell happened to you?" He reached out and gently touched the bruised and swollen cheek of his friend. Worry was etched into the writer's features as he studied the wound.

Tohma flinched slightly. "Nakano-san came to express his displeasure with me." Tohma turned away and continued to prepare the ice. "Shouldn't you be apologizing to Shindou-san or something?"

A hand reached out and took the ice from Tohma's gasp, gently moving him away. Eiri finished what Tohma had started and then brought the ice up to his friend's cheek. "He won't even talk to me. He's over at Hiro's place and that bastard won't even let me in the front door."

Tohma blushed beneath the ice that was being held so carefully to his cheek. He reached up and took the ice from the writer and walked towards the couch, sitting himself down and relaxing back against it with a sigh. The ice was cold and wet against his cheek but it also helped to ease away some of the pain. He felt the couch shift under him and looked over as Eiri sat down next to him.

"Why are you here? Apologizing will mean nothing if he sees you with me again." Tohma didn't want Eiri to leave. His mere presence there was making Tohma feel significantly better and he just wanted to curl up next to the writer. But he knew that wouldn't be good for either of them.

"I told you. Mika was worried." There was a pause and then Eiri looked over at him seriously, "I was worried too. When I got back to the apartment you were gone. No note or anything, and then when Mika called…I was beginning to think the worst."

Tohma smiled, but it was shallow. "Thank you for your worry. But I am fine, you can tell Mika-san that as well."

"Why don't you tell her yourself?" Eiri shifted a little on the couch so that he was facing Tohma. "You aren't fine, Seguchi. You won't even talk to your wife."

"What am I supposed to say? I'm sorry Mika-san…but I slept with your brother." There was more anger in his voice then he had intended when he said this. He sighed and took the ice away from his cheek, as he stared at the floor. "I can't say that…"

"Then I'll say it. You know I'm not afraid to. You can't just lie to her and tell her everything is alright. She'll see right through it." Eiri pulled out his cellular phone and started to dial.

Tohma's eyes flew open wide and he reached out to grab the phone. "Eiri-san! You mustn't! That isn't something that should be said over the phone!" He lunged for the phone, grabbing onto it just as it started to dial. He hung it up quickly and breathed a sigh of relief as the screen went dark again. He put down the phone and looked up at Eiri, whose lap he was now laying across. He blushed brightly and sat up quickly. "I'm sorry…I'll..I'll talk to her I swear."

"When? Don't put this off, it will only make it harder the longer you wait." Eiri didn't look phased even a little by what had just happened. He merely pulled out a cigarette and lighter and stuck the cigarette in his mouth, getting ready to light it.

Tohma reached over and snatched the cigarette out of Eiri's mouth, "Not in my office. I don't need smoke smell embedded in my furniture. And since when are you the one to give me advice?"

Eiri sighed and took the cigarette back. "Fine. But don't change the subject. I'm giving the advice since you seem to be the one having the most difficulty dealing with this. When are you going to tell her?"

"Tonight. I'll go home after work and tell her." Tohma looked away, not wanting to meet Eiri's eyes since he had no intention of actually talking to Mika yet.

"Don't lie to me. If you don't do it by tomorrow morning then I'll do it myself." Eiri stood up and put the lighter back in his pocket. Eiri headed to the door and Tohma stood up, following him to the door.

"Leave Mika-san to me. It is something she should hear from me," Tohma said quietly, not fully sure of whether he would really be able to tell her.

"Fine. But don't think I won't check up on that." Eiri raised a hand briefly in a wave.

Tohma watched Eiri walk down the hallway, lighting his cigarette almost as soon as he was away from the door.


	3. Walking Alone

Chapter 3

Eiri was half asleep on his couch when the phone rang next to him. The sound was harsh in the silence of the dark apartment. Eiri opened his eyes and looked over at it with a scowl. He reached out and picked up the phone, bringing it to his ear without looking at who was calling.

"Yeah?"

"Is that how you always answer the phone? That is a rather rude greeting, Eiri."

Eiri groaned as his sister's voice came through the headset. "What do you want? I was sleeping."

"I'm sorry to wake you. I just…I was hoping…I mean…" Mika's voice cracked and she was silent without finishing her request. Suddenly the normally tough older sister didn't sound quite as tough as she did a moment ago.

Eiri sat up a little and quirked an eyebrow. It wasn't like his sister to be caught speechless. "What's wrong Mika? Spit it out." It had to be pretty bad and for a moment he wondered if something had happened to their father.

"I…I was hoping you knew where Tohma was."

Eiri sat bolt upright. That certainly wasn't what he expected to hear. Tohma wasn't one to just disappear and not tell Mika where he was going. He tried to keep his voice calm as he responded, "What do you mean?"

"I called his office and they said he had left hours ago…he hasn't come home and he won't answer his phone. I…I just don't know what to do. Eiri, what is wrong with him? What happened? Please tell me!" Mika sounded close to tears and Eiri actually felt sorry for his sister. It was obvious that Tohma hadn't mentioned what had happened between them yet and that bothered Eiri quite a bit. He didn't want to be the one to tell his sister what happened between them.

"I'll go and look for him." Eiri hung up without answering the other questions. He had promised he wouldn't tell her until morning. He was going to keep his promise. He jumped up and grabbed his coat. He practically ran out of the apartment building and was dismayed to find that it had started to rain. It was coming down rather hard and since the sun had already set it was also dark. It was not going to be easy to find the keyboardist.

Eiri slid into the driver's seat of his car and started the engine. His mind was running through all the different places that Tohma could have gone. He drove off down the road quickly, his eyes traveling all over trying to catch sight of his friend.

The first place Eiri went was to NG Records to see if Tohma's car was still at the studio. It was and that worried Eiri even more. Mika had said she had called and found out he had already left for the day. That meant he was out walking in the rain, making him that much harder to be found.

Eiri continued down the road, deciding to visit all of Tohma's regular spots, hoping that he might have taken shelter from the rain in one of them. Eiri headed to the bar that he liked to visit but no one had seen the keyboardist in several days. After striking out at a few more places he decided to abandon his car and try to find him on foot.

The rain continued to pour down on the city as Eiri walked along the road, looking in every window and watching every pedestrian, hoping he might spot the blond haired man. Several hours had passed and Mika had called him a dozen times already. He had finally decided to turn off his phone as it was more of a distraction then anything else. He was soaked to the bone and growing more worried with each passing moment. He cursed himself for forgetting his umbrella when he ran out of the apartment.

Exhausted and cold, Eiri climbed the slight incline of the city's park. It was the same park he had met Shuuichi in. He thought it would be a longshot to find his old friend there but he was beginning to run out of ideas. As he rounded the corner he stopped and stared in disbelief as the object of his search was before him.

Tohma stood by the railing, staring out over the city. His hair was matted to his head and he was visibly shaking from the cold. Even from the distance that Eiri was at he could tell that his eyes were glazed over and his mind was elsewhere.

Approaching slowly, Eiri wondered just how long his friend had been standing there, letting the rain drench him.

"Seguchi…" Eiri reached out and touched Tohma's shoulder gently.

The body in front of him shuddered as if shaking itself out of a dream. Tohma turned his head to look over his shoulder and there was visible surprise in his eyes. "Eiri…"

"What are you doing out here? You're soaked." Eiri knew that he wasn't much better since he had been doing this search without an umbrella. The rain was starting to slow and for that he was thankful.

"I…I just needed some air. I just started walking and I guess this is where I ended up." Tohma turned and looked at his friend. His eyes were still a little hazy and Eiri was sure that Tohma was going to need some medical attention from spending hours out in the cold rain. He didn't even look like he fully understand what was going on or that it was even raining out.

"Let's get you home. Mika's worried and you need to get out of those wet clothes." Eiri grabbed Tohma's upper arm and started to pull him along but Tohma had other ideas. He pulled his arm free and shook his head.

"I'm not going home." Tohma had a stubborn look on his face. He took a couple steps backwards and almost looked like he was going to run in the other direction of Eiri even made one wrong move.

Eiri frowned, "Then I'll take you to my place." He had hoped he could convince his friend to go home but that really didn't look like it was going to happen. When Tohma had it in his mind to be stubborn about something, then there was no talking him out of it. Eiri knew this from experience and in Tohma's current state, he was bound to be even worse then normal.

Tohma shook his head violently, "No..I can't go there. I can't be in that place." He started to back away towards the fence. He was just seconds away from fleeing the scene and Eiri didn't want that. The last thing he needed was to spend another couple hours in the cold rain looking for him again.

Eiri reached out and roughly pulled Tohma into his arms, holding him against his chest. "Tohma…don't argue with me. You need to get dried off. You're shaking like crazy and I think you need to see a doctor. But for now, let me just get you out of this rain."

The feeling of Eiri's arms around him made the shaking grow a little weaker. Even though the writer was just as wet as Tohma was, his body was warm and it felt good to be against the strong chest.

"Okay…" The voice was weak but that one word was enough for Eiri. He put his arm around Tohma's waist and supported most of his weight as he half-carried him back to where Eiri's car was parked. It was several blocks away from the park, but Tohma no longer cared. He couldn't get any wetter then he already was and he was just glad that Eiri was there with him.

Tohma slept all the way to Eiri's apartment once he was in the car. Eiri was worried about just how sick Tohma was going to get because of his actions. Once he was home he carried the keyboardist into the apartment and laid him down on the couch. Eiri then went to retrieve some dry clothes, towels, and blankets. When he returned to the living area, Tohma was awake and sitting up. He had his arms wrapped tightly around himself in an attempt to stop the shaking.

Eiri reached out and started to undress the trembling man. Tohma fought him for just a moment but then gave in to the stronger man. Eiri dropped a towel on Tohma's head and Tohma started to dry off his hair. "You should dry off too," he said as he noticed the water dripping from Eiri's bangs.

"When you stop shaking, I'll dry myself off."

Tohma warmed up considerably once the wet clothes were in a pile on the floor and some dry ones had replaced them. Eiri wrapped him up in a blanket before he went off to change into dry clothes. Tohma pulled the blanket very tightly around himself, breathing in the familiar sweet scent of Eiri's apartment.

When Eiri returned he sat down next to Tohma and looked at his friend seriously. "What were you thinking? Why did you go out in that rain for so long?"

"It wasn't raining when I left."

The answer was simple and that infuriated Eiri. He tried to remain calm as he scowled at Tohma. "That's not he point. Answer the question."

"I…can't." Tohma sounded weak and drew the blanket up higher and closer to his face, wanting to hide inside of it. He was acting more like a child then a 32 year old man. Even despite the young appearance that the keyboardist had, very rarely did he exhibit such an immature behavior.

Eiri reached out and grabbed Tohma's shoulders, turning him so that he had no choice but to face him. "Answer it."

Tohma trembled, but this time it wasn't from the cold. He was afraid of the words that he wanted to say. "I don't feel whole anymore."

"What?"

"Ever since that night…I realized that all these years…I've only really been half a person. I feel like something has been missing from my life and I've only just now realized what it was." Tohma collapsed forward and curled up in Eiri's lap. The older man suddenly felt very weak and he couldn't help the desire to just lay down.

"Tohma…" Eiri didn't know what the man was saying but inside his heart hurt just a little, knowing that all of this was his fault because of what they did and there really wasn't anything he could do about it to make it right.

"Please…just…just let me stay like this for a little while." Tohma closed his eyes and his breathing started to slow.

"I have to tell Mika that I've found you before she worries herself to death," Eiri expected some form of complaint from the man in his lap, but the only sound that was uttered was a small grunt that he took to mean that Tohma didn't care what he did as long as he didn't have to move.

Eiri sighed and picked up his cellphone. He turned it back on and was dismayed to find that his voice mailbox was full. He was sure that every single one of the messages were from his sister. He would go through and delete them tomorrow, for now he just wanted to let her know that her husband was safe. He dialed his sister's number and after only one ring she picked up.

"It's about damn time! I've been trying to call you all night!" Mika was furious and shouting into the phone.

Eiri moved the phone away from his ear a little until she was done ranting at him. "Hey, I was out looking for Tohma okay? Cut me some slack. I couldn't do much with you calling me every five minutes."

There was silence for a few seconds. "Did you find him?"

"Yeah. He was walking in the rain. I'm gonna let him stay here tonight and then I'll drop him off tomorrow morning." Eiri looked down at the small form in his lap. Tohma's chest was rising and falling very slowly and Eiri knew that he had fallen asleep.

"What?? Is he okay? Let me talk to him!"

"He's asleep. If he wakes up anytime soon I'll tell him to call you. But for now I'm going to just let him rest."

"Eiri, please…tell me what is going on. Why is Tohma acting so strangely?"

"That's for him to tell you. Listen, trap him in a corner tomorrow when I drop him off and just make him explain everything. But right now, let's just let him rest. If he doesn't explain it to you tomorrow, then I will. Okay?" Eiri suddenly felt very tired and he wanted nothing more then to just shut his eyes and not move until morning.

There was silence again as she was considering this. "Fine. If you aren't here before noon then I'm coming over there!"

"Deal. Later Mika." Eiri hung up on her and tossed the phone onto the couch. He was definitely going to make Tohma explain everything tomorrow. He looked back down at Tohma and laid his hand on the man's hair. "What did you mean? Only half the person…" Eiri closed his eyes and let the worlds tumble around in his head as he tried to make sense of what the man had meant.

It came to him suddenly and his eyes flew open. He looked down, his eyes wide. He understood what Tohma had meant and he felt his heart sink. It was his fault that Tohma was like this. He had known from the beginning what the cause of Tohma's mood had been, but the sheer weight of what Tohma had just said suddenly made him realize just how deeply his friend was affected by what they had done. Eiri stroked the man's hair tenderly, sorrow written across the face.

"I'm sorry Tohma…I'm a fool and this is all my fault. I wish there was something I could do…but, I can't. I'm sorry…" He knew that Tohma was deep asleep and didn't know what he was doing and couldn't hear him. Eiri felt it had to be said though and wasn't sure he would get the chance to say it to him. He was afraid of what his friend might do if he even tried.

Eiri closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the back of the couch. He was exhausted and it wasn't long before sleep came to him too.


	4. Escape

Tohma knocked loudly on the door to Hiro's apartment

Tohma knocked loudly on the door to Hiro's apartment. He wasn't sure he would be allowed to see the pink haired singer that was hiding inside, but he was going to try. Tohma had a stubborn side to him and what he wanted he usually got, no matter what it took. He wasn't about to let Shuuichi just keep on hiding forever because of what he did.

Hiro opened the door and his face instantly hardened. The door almost got shut right back in Tohma's face but he stuck out his hand and held it open with a strength that surprised the red haired man on the other side. "What the hell do you want?" Hiro growled as he put a little more pressure on the door, trying to push the older man back out into the street.

Tohma was surprisingly strong and he held his ground. "I am here to speak with Shindou-kun."

"He doesn't want to talk to you." Hiro used his body to block any kind of advance that Tohma might make. If he couldn't shut the door he would use his own body to keep the other man out of his home.

"Well I don't particularly care what he wants. This is a matter of what he needs to hear." Tohma glanced past Hiro and noticed that the singer in question had entered the room behind the guitarist.

"It's okay Hiro. You can let him in." Shuuichi said quietly from behind his best friend.

Hiro continued to glare at Tohma but stepped aside to allow him inside the small apartment. Tohma passed by him without even looking at the guitarist. His eyes were only for the small man before him.

"I am going to say this only once, so stay silent and listen very well." Shuuichi merely nodded as he looked up sadly at the older man. Tohma continued, "I don't know why, but Eiri-san loves you very much. What happened that night was purely accidental. I won't lie to you. Eiri-san is very special to me and I love him very much, I always have. I would do anything for him, and will do anything to anyone that hurts him in any way. I also will do anything to make sure he is happy. Right now he is miserable and it is because of what happened that night. I only have myself to blame for his sadness and that alone is enough to make me hate myself. If you must hate someone, then hate me and only me. Do not take this out on him. It was completely my fault and I will accept all responsibility for what happened. Eiri-san was drunk and I took advantage of that and the fact that he missed you. I have wronged him more then anything and I will never forgive myself as long as I live for what I have done." Tohma turned and headed to the door. He didn't wait for a response from Shuuichi. He merely had wanted to explain the situation and then run away as fast as he could. He stopped at the door briefly. "Hate me all you want. I don't expect nor want to be forgiven. But do not make Eiri-san suffer any more. Tohma opened the door and left quickly. He desperately wanted to run away from the world and everyone in it.

Shuuichi walked up to HIro, his expression was one of shock. "That was unexpected," Hiro said, his own shock evident on his face.

"Yeah…and you know something. I can't bring myself to hate him. I did…I want to…but I can't. If he loves Yuki enough to let him go like this, just so Yuki can be happy then he really isn't a bad person. It actually explains a lot about Tohma." Shuuichi smiled slightly and looked up at his tall friend.

"Yeah, I guess you are right. I almost feel bad for hitting him now." Hiro gave Shuuichi a sheepish grin and rubbed the back of his head with his hand.

"You hit him!? Hiro! No matter what happens he is the one that holds our future so delicately in his hands!! You're going to get us in trouble!! What if he…" Shuuichi suddenly started running frantically in the room.

Hiro laughed a little, "You're beginning to sound like Sakano. Calm down Shuuichi. He just apologized to you. Do you really think he would drop us from the label now?"

Shuuchi stopped flailing as suddenly as he started and stared at Hiro, "I guess you are right."

"Of course I am. So what are you going to do now?" Hiro walked over and leaned against the wall, putting his hands in his pants pockets.

"Call Yuki of course!" Shuuichi bounded away to call his lover.

Tohma looked off across the water, watching the bright torch of the Statue of Liberty in the distance. He wasn't really thinking of anything, he was just letting the sights and sounds of the city around him sweep his mind away across the water. He had been there for hours, just watching the boats go by. It was now dark and the area had gotten very quiet as the tourists had all started heading back to their hotels for the night.

"Running away to New York is my solution to problems, not yours," said a familiar voice from behind him. The sound was quiet and soothing as it reached Tohma's ears.

Tohma turned his head to look over his shoulder at the blond writer behind him. He wasn't the least bit surprised that Eiri had found him. They knew each other too well after all their years together.

"It seemed to work for you so I thought I might find my own peace and happiness here as well." Tohma looked out across the water once again.

"I don't know about the peace part. Things have been a lot louder at my place since my last visit here." Eiri walked up and stood next to his old friend.

"You do not deny the happiness part, however?" This saddened Tohma greatly, but he had already known that it would.

"Tohma…Mika is worried about you. She was afraid you had done something stupid. I'm supposed to be the one that she gets grey hair over, not you."

"I told her what happened.." Tohma looked down at the ground ashamed. He had cheated on the one person whose trust he had always been able to count on. He wasn't sure how he would ever face his wife again.

"Yeah, and I got yelled at for it. She gets too much enjoyment out of scolding me." Eiri smirked slightly as he looked at Tohma from the corner of his eye. His friend didn't show any sign of amusement and so the smirk quickly fell from his lips.

"How is Shindou-san?" The question was said very quietly and Tohma didn't really care to hear the answer but knew it was the polite thing to do.

"He told me what you said. You're an idiot, you know that? You shouldn't have put all the blame on yourself."

"I do blame myself whenever you are unhappy. I can never forgive myself for hurting you in such a way. I am no better then…" Tohma didn't want to say it but Eiri knew instantly what he was about to say.

Eiri grabbed Tohma's shoulders and roughly turned him so that they were face to face. "Tohma, don't even say it. Don't even think it. What happened between us is nothing like that night. You have no reason to compare us to that."

Tears started to fall down Tohma's face and Eiri embraced his friend tightly. Tohma buried his face into his friend's chest, wanting desperately to believe those words. It was obvious that Eiri didn't hate him and that fact alone made things seem a hundred times better.

"I wanted to die. I still do. I don't think I can live the lie anymore. I love you…I love you so much Eiri-san. I always have and I always will. It hurts so much to see you and Shindou-san together. But I want your happiness more then anything and that's why…that's why.." Tohma choked on his words and pushed away from the comfort of EIri's arms. He had every intention of fleeing the area before he said anything more that might get him into trouble. Eiri wasn't going to let him run as he caught his arm before he could.

"Running away will not do you any good. Have you learned nothing from what I have done? Killing yourself will only make things worse. If you do that then I will be sad. Is that what you want? Haven't you always said you would do anything to make sure I was happy?" Eiri's voice and face were stern as he glared at the man in his hands. He felt like a teacher that was scolding a difficult student.

"Of course…" Tohma couldn't look Eiri in the eyes, instead he kept his gaze downward, staring at the chest he had been against only moments before.

"Then you better think again if you believe losing you would do that. I could be miserable if you killed yourself and then you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself even in death."

Tohma finally turned his gaze upwards to meet Eiri's eyes in disbelief. He hadn't expected to hear that from this man. He hadn't thought about the fact that Eiri would be upset if he was gone. Tohma smiled but it was filled with the sadness that was overflowing from his heart.

"The only time I truly feel happy and complete is when I am with you. I know that I may never have you for myself, but just loving you as I have, has always seemed like enough. But after that night I realized I couldn't go on like that anymore. I love you. I know I've said that many times by now, but that night was like a dream come true and I never wanted it to end. I wanted to spend the rest of my life in your arms. Even after you went to look for Shindou-san all I could think about was how wonderful it had felt, how complete. I am a selfish person Eiri-san. I want you all to myself but I know it won't happen and that hurts. But I can't stop loving you, no matter the pain it causes as well."

"Tohma, I can't return your love." Eiri looked at him seriously. He hadn't ever thought his friend would ever voice those words. Eiri had always known how Tohma felt but the words had never been said and Eiri had never wanted to return those feelings because of the situation between them.

"I know. Oh god do I know…I am not asking you to. I know how much you love Shindou-san, and even though I do not understand it, I will not do anything to damage your relationship." Tohma looked ready to cry again but he withheld any more tears from falling. He had to be strong and finish what he wanted to say. He had to show this man that he was the world to him.

"Thank you…and I'm sorry." Eiri looked sincerely sorry for being unable to return the feelings that Tohma had showered upon him, and for that Tohma was grateful. It at least showed that Eiri cared for him as a friend.

"I'm going to stay in New York for a little longer. I would like you to return to Japan and Shindou-san. Please tell Mika-san not to worry. I would just like to collect myself a little before I return." Tohma turned and headed towards the main road to get a taxi. He stopped a few feet away and turned a little, his regular smile lighting up his face. "Thank you, Eiri-san."

"For what?"

"For reminding me why I live each day of my life."

"Excuse me?" Eiri looked genuinely confused as he pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and started to light it.

"I live to protect and love you. To make sure your happiness is secure. That is what makes me truly happy and able to live each day." Tohma turned and walked the rest of the way to the road where a taxi was already waiting.

Eiri smiled slightly, "You're welcome Seguchi-san." He added quietly, "And thank you." He brought the cigarette to his lips and turned to look out at the statue across the water.

Tohma was finally smiling sincerely as he climbed into the car and settled back against the seat. Life would never be the same again…but perhaps now that things were in the open it would be better.

The taxi drove away from the docks, the blond executive never casting another look back.

The End


End file.
